DIY Festivus Pole

Sometimes I have these flashes of brilliance. Like when I figured out I could clean the tile wall in my German bathroom with a mop. Or put lemon juice in a Misto and spray guacamole to keep it from turning brown.

I’ve been trying, for a while now, to figure out how to erect a Festivus Pole. And in the spirit of Festivus, do it with minimal time and effort, so we can can get on to the most important part: The Airing of Grievances.

Queue flash of brilliance. Aka Christmas tree stand.

how to make a diy festivus pole
DIY Festivus Pole
This whole project should take approximately 2 minutes and cost less than $20. Mine was $0 because I happen to have all this crap laying around.

1 Christmas tree stand
1 Shower rod
Sign & Decorations (optional)

1. Stick shower rod into Christmas tree stand
2. Tighten screws
3. Erect the pole
4. Begin airing grievances

I’m quite sure that to my neighborhood HOA-holes this looks like a stripper pole. So I added a “Happy Festivus” sign to clarify. You can make your own sign or use mine. Click here to download.

Decorating the pole is 100% optional. If you want to get technical, a traditional Festivus Pole should be unadorned. I went with the lazy I mean traditional pole.

Don’t know Festivus? Read about it here.

diy festivus pole


    I need this: Life-size advent calendar in Bernkastel-Kues, Germany

    I have a motivation problem. Christmas is days away. Barely any shopping is done. The decorations are still in the attic. And I can’t muster the “holiday spirit” to accomplish any of that crap.

    It just doesn’t seem like Christmas time. Why is that? Maybe because it’s 80 degrees outside. 80 DEGREES. In December. Yes, I’m in Florida, but come on. Can we get more than 2 days of winter? I use the word “winter” loosely.

    What I really need is a walk thru the ridiculously grand holiday displays at my old garden center Tuincentrum Daniels in Vlodrop (no one does visual merchandising like the Dutch!) or reibekuchen mit pommes (amazing potato pancakes with apple sauce) from a German Christmas market.

    Or maybe this. The life-size advent calendar in Bernkastel-Kues, Germany.

    Bernkastel-Kues, Germany's Christmas market with life-size advent calendar

    Life-size advent calendar at Bernkastle-Kues, Germany Christmas market

    How cool is this to count down to Christmas? The giant advent calendar in on the apotheke in Bernkastel’s main square. Every day a different hand-painted fairy-tale scene is revealed.

    Bernkastel is already adorable with all the half-timbered houses, but even better during the holidays. Here are some more pics of the decorated village—from when we there for the Christmas market. You may recognize some of these places from our previous trip.

    Christmas market in Bernkastel-Kues, Germany

    I love this guy’s costume. He saw me lurking around and was kind enough to pose for a picture  


      Gartenschau Kaiserslautern: A dinosaur park by Ramstein

      Gartenschau Kaiserslautern -- Dinosaur Park Ramstein AFB

      On our first trip after moving to Germany, we visited Burg Nanstein and Gartenschau Kaiserslautern—this really cool dinosaur park right by Ramstein.

      It had pretty manicured gardens, a nice playground and a ton of cool dinosaurs. Look at the size of that allosaurus! Also soccer fields, mini golf and places to eat.

      We could have brought a picnic and stayed all day. But we didn’t because we’re American; we didn’t know our country’s strict “no outside food allowed” rules don’t apply in Europe. There it’s completely acceptable (and normal) to take food wherever you go—even when you’re paying admission somewhere food is sold. How much more enjoyable would Disney World have been if they let you bring in outside food? All right, not really a fair question. Maybe a teensy, tinesy, slight little bit better?

      Gartenschau Kaiserslautern -- Dinosaur Park near Ramstein AFB

      Jacob saw this giant, steep slide and ran off, climbed to the top and slid down—before we saw the sign that said he wasn’t old enough to slide. Matt went with him after that.

      Gartenschau Kaiserslautern -- Dinosaur Park near Ramstein AFB

      There was a weird head sticking out of the ground that you can climb inside. Nicholas liked being in the dinosaur’s mouth for a very short period of time. He always hates when I put him in something to take a pic. Like here in Salzburg.

      Look at Jacob’s chubby little face and Nicholas’ baby mullet. How tiny and cute they were. It was a good day.