Non-stop sex show? Looks like it stopped to me. More like “non-stop, until-we-close sex show.”
(Those are the doors pulled down.)
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Hmm…we can duct tape the broken light post up or disconnect the electricity and take it down. Let’s go with duct tape. But this is Europe. Our playgrounds are ringed with barbed wire; you need a tetanus shot for the slide. And a wet floor sign is indeed a rare sight. I suppose if a light post falls on you, it’s your fault for standing under it. 
Yes, that’s really the name of a town in Austria. It’s pronounced more like, “foo-king.” Of the words I hate, “bucket list” is up there. It’s not the irregardless, jeggings or a vaca (the misspelled shorthand of vacation) sort of hate, but “bucket list” annoys me nonetheless. If I had one of those things, this would be on it. For sure. Pretty obvious why. We stopped in Fucking, Austria on our way home from Salzburg—a totally juvenile detour just for my own amusement. Fucking’s about 45 minutes north of Salzburg, just over the Austria-Germany border. Like Salzburg, you can drive there without purchasing a vignette toll sticker (yea!). There’s really nothing in Fucking, Austria except a few houses. Regardless, IMO, it’s worth a visit just to take a picture by the sign. Then there’s the added bonus of hearing your GPS drop an f-bomb. Mine can’t pronounce anything correctly, but it will say, “Arriving at Fucking,” clear as a bell. There are parking spots by the sign, but why is there not a tourist shop? (Or did we just miss it?) The merchandising opportunities are endless; I’d buy a Fucking, Austria t-shirt. There is a beer, a helles, named for the town, but I have yet to find it anywhere for sale. It’s called Fucking Hell. Suck it, Intercourse, Pennnsylvania. If there was a prize for best-named town or municipality, Fucking, Austria would win hands down. I’d give second and third place to Titz, Germany and Asse, Belgium, respectively. Know any other strange town names?  Why is Copenhagen so expensive? Because they run on Dong power.
This is a real junction box in Copenhagen. Make your own joke here. On a related note: We were told the Danish word for “closed” was “slut.” I tried desperately to find a store with a slut sign in the window (to take my picture next to), but couldn’t. Maybe it’s not true. 
In Germany we have a plus-size clothing brand called “Big Fun.” Wow. There’s really nothing else I can say. Except maybe: It doesn’t help that the German word for large is grosse. And what’s with the “good for you” hands on the shoulders? Look at the lady in the black. I like to imagine her saying, “Horizontal stripes? Really?” or “Are you sure you don’t want another cookie, sweetie?” And now I want a cookie.  |
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