Tag: dumb stuff

Of all the made-up holidays, Valentine’s Day is the worst. Want someone to know you love them? Give them over-priced roses and cheap chocolate any other day of the year. Any other day. Just not today. But… If you must participate in the obligatory dry-heave love fest, here you go. I made you a card. Share one with someone you tolerate, find moderately attractive or…

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Schmuck = jeweler in German. No matter how many times I see this, I’ll never get tired of it. Ahh, I’m going to miss printed profanity and general amusement from things like “baby dump” (daycare), “haargummi” (hair gummy, aka hairband), “dick” and “grosse” (thick, big), “ausfahrt” and so on. Plus the fact that I can go to Asse in Belgium or Bitche, France. The word…

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Duct tape fixes everything. Even light posts. I don’t know how someone thought this was a good idea. Hmm…we can duct tape the broken light post up or disconnect the electricity and take it down. Let’s go with duct tape. But this is Europe. Our playgrounds are ringed with barbed wire; you need a tetanus shot for the slide. And a wet floor sign is…

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I f*cking love Fucking, Austria. Curse words obscured to protect those with delicate eyes. Yes, that’s really the name of a town in Austria. It’s pronounced more like, “foo-king.” Of the words I hate, “bucket list” is up there. It’s not the irregardless, jeggings or a vaca (the misspelled shorthand of vacation) sort of hate, but “bucket list” annoys me nonetheless. If I had one…

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Why is Copenhagen so expensive? Because they run on Dong power. This is a real junction box in Copenhagen. Make your own joke here. On a related note: We were told the Danish word for “closed” was “slut.” I tried desperately to find a store with a slut sign in the window (to take my picture next to), but couldn’t. Maybe it’s not true.

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